


Almost

by Alahnore



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Short One Shot, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 08:45:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11032710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alahnore/pseuds/Alahnore
Summary: Almost he told her. Almost he admitted how he really felt. Always just almost.





	Almost

We shared a lot of close encounters, 2B and I. Too many times we teetered on the edge of loss and death, clinging with all our being to avoid losing who we were right then, being wiped like hard-drives to a previous, less perfect state. Yet we persevered, sometimes having allies, and sometimes having only each other. 

I think that’s what really got to me. At times, all I had was 2B. 2B’s companionship, her stoic silences and sudden outbursts. It was 2B’s sword that protected me, covered me as I covered her with my hacks and gunfire. It was 2B’s touch that helped me through the pain of any wounds or mishaps, her hand engulfing my own it felt when she helped me back on my feet. All I had was my hope in 2B… not Command, not YoRHa… to save me from Adam. When she held me and told me we were going home, I never felt more alive.

The few moments we had between missions, when it was just us and nothing else but the solemn world, I thought were promises of a peace to come. Even in the dark of the factory, huddled close so our systems would repair superficial wounds enough for us to get up and continue on, we would murmur a conversation. Sometimes about the task. Sometimes idle. It was mostly me talking, I’ll admit. I know I rambled but 2B, in those moments, would just listen. Sometimes she answered.

Sometimes, I was tempted to tell her how I really felt.

I never did though. It never felt appropriate. Even when we were out in the open, away from machines, just us together and fishing or observing the world. I’d look at her and she’d look at me. I only ever saw her. _Those_  moments 2B was my world; the whole planet, mankind, the war were secondary. Every time we got to share such a moment, I realized I’d be alright if I was with 2B. It didn’t matter where or how.

Once, I was brave. I reached for her hand and grasped it. It wasn’t because we were injured, potentially dying or anything like that. We were just standing around, trying to decide where to go. 2B seemed surprised, and for a second maybe offended in a way. But she let me hold her hand for that handful of seconds. On the very last second she held mine back.

I was so shocked I let go and she dashed off after an enemy. The flutter of her skirts and the ring of her steel echoed in my ears–the blur of black and white burning in my eyes through the goggles, but the most vivid thing was the fading warmth in my palm. I swore next time, I wasn’t going to let her go.

Another time I leaned my head on her shoulder. We were waiting for orders. I remember the salt-sweet breeze of the ocean, the swishing of water overcoming itself as it crashed into the sunken concrete around us. 2B was warm, stoic and sturdy. Her body was built for exertion and duress, but it was still so comfortable. She didn’t speak to me at all when I was like that, even as I rambled at her as usual, but she didn’t pull away and I got to stay. I felt safe.

I remember, somewhere, the heat of her palms framing my face. I remember at some point she looked at me, no goggles in place, and she was smiling. It was a slight, barely noticeable upturn of her lips but I had studied them so much I could see it. I remember she shifted, moving almost awkwardly, but there was a soft sensation against my hair. It barely grazed my forehead. My sensors almost didn’t pick it up but it was a sensation that always made my chest feel heavy and elated all at once.

Each and every time I’d open my mouth to tell her, but I never did. The words were on the tip of my tongue but they couldn’t come out. We had missions, duties to fulfill first. _Emotions were prohibited_ , she would tell me again and again. And her palms would frame my face, again and again.

Again and again I’d see her smile. But the smile wasn’t always the same. The shift in her body wasn’t always the same. Sometimes I felt that soft touch against my cheek. Once, my lips. Several times it never came.

But those moments… those moments, with 2B and me, where I almost told her, were my memories.

 

_9S awakens, staring in confusion at the stale air. His eyes look around, finding a flash of white and red; his ears fill with the sassy tone of a fellow android. He barely recognizes it or where he is. For a moment, he wants to go back to sleep, to the far sweeter dreams than whatever this reality was._

_“Where’s 2B?”  
_

_“You know that better than anyone, no?”  
_

_“Her black box signal… disappeared.”  
_

_“… oh.”_


End file.
